Becoming what we need to be.

new fluevogs

“We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.” – Max de Pree

Andrew & I went off to Montreal this past weekend to indulge. It was in many respects, awesome. We ate way too much. I drank a lot of coffee. I bought a pair of Fluevogs. It was exactly what a weekend in Montreal should be. (There will be photos, just as soon as I retrieve my camera from a friend’s house…which won’t be until next week because they’re now in Toronto.)

There was also a lot of talking. Usually when Andrew and I take a trip together, there’s less talking, more music listening and singing along. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just what comes of living together and spending a lot of our time in the same space. Of course, I’ve been busy as ever with a new gig and with training for the half-marathon. So, we haven’t talked a lot.

We got to talking about two of my current projects: This blog and a little something that I’m coordinating for Heritage Ottawa. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for the Heritage Ottawa project–it launches in mid-April. (Yeah, that’s only six weeks away, folks!) There isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel for this here blog.

When I started this blog, it wasn’t with the intent of blogging about food. Go and look at the first posts, if you can find them. They’re just me, talking to the internet, some two years ago. It somehow became about sharing good food over the course of the last 18 months. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The trouble is that I feel as though I have to share all the food. There was a recent article in the New York Times about mindful eating. Kelly commented on it, linking it back to blogging by saying “Meals are to be made because you want them – not because it’s been thismany days since you posted a recipe with thiskind of ingredient.” I couldn’t agree more. In the past six weeks, I’ve slowly become resentful of the planning, the editing, the writing. I’m doing more writing and editing than ever before, and I’m enjoying it. Just not about food. My photography has improved drastically over the past twelve months. But I don’t remember the last time that I took a picture of something that wasn’t food. I don’t remember the last weekend that I didn’t feel that it was a requirement for me to make, photograph, and write about food.

It feels a bit like it did right before I opted to leave my winter ultimate team this year: I still enjoy ultimate. I will play in the summer, but my time with playing ultimate three seasons of the year is done. It’s a hobby for which my interest has waned, and if I’m to maintain any interest at all, I need to step back.

I’ll still be around these parts. I’ll still be writing posts, taking photos, and talking at ‘ya. You’re not getting rid of me quite so easily. It’s just that I won’t always be here with food. I’m more than a girl with an apron and a spatula. Or is it a turner?

4 thoughts on “Becoming what we need to be.

  1. Brilliant, Kaitlin! Let your blog evolve as you evolve, your priorities shift and change… You do not need to be defined by what your blog had become. Maybe it’s time to re-define in your head why you blog and what you hope to accomplish by doing it? Like Andrea, I will continue to love reading your posts, whether they are about food or the other stuff of life. Your posts will still be heartfulmouthfuls, whether those are mouthfuls of food or things to reflect on. xo Kat
    P.S. Love the new Fluevogs!!!!

  2. My feeling is that you never want to feel constrained or dictated to by your blog. Just let it do whatever you happen to be doing.

    Of course, I know some people are awesome at making blogs specifically about a topic, but I always knew it would be a dealbreaker if I found myself baking or doing projects solely for the sake of posting.

  3. i totally AGREE. i came to that conclusion last year … took some time off of the blog, and came back – with a far more moderate take on the whole thing. I no longer feel the need to have my camera next to my plate … or around my neck. It was … liberating. I hope you feel liberated … that way – whenever you do blog … it’ll be fun :0)

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